The Boy Who Changed My Life

Almost six years ago, I suffered a miscarriage. Afterwards, we struggled through two years of infertility, spent hundreds on treatment, were told we'd never have a child without IVF, and had all but given up. 

Finally pregnant after 2 years of trying

Three years ago tonight, I sat in a dark hospital room. Full of adrenaline and excitement, trying to sleep with an IV in my hand, monitors beeping, a blood pressure cuff going off intermittently, and nurses in and out all night. I was 39 weeks exactly. It was a Friday. My induction happy OBGYN convinced this naive first time mom that I was going to have a "big" baby and the swelling in my feet was "dangerous." So here I was, being induced. 

39 weeks, headed for the induction

The next morning things never progressed, his heart rate kept dropping, and my doctor came running through the lobby to get scrubbed down for an emergency Cesarean section. My parents came in to wish me luck and kiss me, my husband laid his head on my chest, scared and holding me tight, and I felt like the world was moving in slow motion. 

Within 20 minutes, Laithan Geno was out. First thing he did was latch on to the doctor's finger. Then started crying and peed on a nurse! I remember the doctor shouting out, "He's a blondie!" Then, I saw him whisked under the warmer and thought, "My son isn't blonde. That isn't my son." I saw the edge of his cheek behind his swaddled blanket and then my husband and the nurse took him off to be bathed. I didn't see him again for an hour. 

Meeting Laithan for the first time

The next few months was a storm of extreme emotions. Postpartum depression hit me hard but I didn't realize what it was for six months. I knew that I loved this little boy more than anything else in the world, but why couldn't I connect with him? His daddy spent the night worrying about him, rushing to his side at every coo and cough. He was an amazing, attentive father. I just did what I had to do to make sure we all survived. 

I can't quite pinpoint when things began to change for me, but I remember around 7-8 months, when Laithan began to become a bit more independent, I loved those days. He sat on his own and played so well by himself, he was always so happy and smiled at everyone. He was a gorgeous, joyful baby. He was never much for cuddling and rarely sat still. He was always on the go, always being silly, and loved to wrestle with Daddy. 

Laithan, 8 months, at Easter 2010

When he was 18 months old we realized he wasn't really saying anything. He had nothing but vowel sounds and little to no consonant sounds. We began early intervention, and by his 2nd birthday he could say, "Go!" And in the last year, he's completely caught up to his age level and has blown us away. He's become this incredibly funny, clever, charming little boy and its so hard to believe. 

He loves to dance. He makes up his own songs. He tells funny stories and has in amazing imagination. He loves dinosaurs, pirates, trains, and firetrucks. He is quick to say "thank you" and "I love you." And despite the struggle I experienced during those first few months, I can't imagine my life without him. He's that innocent, funny little voice in my head that stops me from taking things too seriously and keeps me forever entertained.