For Lachlan

First birthdays are the most nostalgic, it seems. Nothing changes more than a baby in the their first year. They almost become a whole different person. Today is Lachlan's first birthday!

Lachlan was a surprise. Not a bad surprise. Not a "oh no honey, how can we have another baby?" sort of surprise. He was a wonderful surprise after a month full of grief. This was Tristan:

Tristan Daniel Anderson, lost first week of November 2010

It was a week after this ultrasound that I went back for another ultrasound and saw him looking even more like a baby but heart still beating despite having experience some bleeding. The doctor assured me this baby was holding on strong but that it appears that I had lost his twin. Not having known she existed until she was gone, we named her Amelia Faith and prayed that her twin would hold on.

The next week the bleeding continued and when I went for an ultrasound to reassure me, I instead saw his perfect little form but no heart fluttering inside. It was devastating. I sat numb through the formalities. We had done this all before. Two years before Laithan was born, we lost what we felt was a little girl, Lily Grace, and it had been one of the hardest times in my life. And we were back here.

I can't talk about my boys births without remembering the brothers/sisters that came before them. I feel like without those pregnancies, those lost babies, my boys would not be here today. So I am forever grateful that they existed and I think of them often.

Five weeks after we lost Tristan Daniel, I got a feeling. I had started charting right away in hopes of getting pregnant as soon as we were given the green light from my OBGYN. But I just had this feeling. I took a pregnancy test that was positive but I was told by the nurses it was just left over hormones from the miscarriage and we'd retest in a week. What a long week! The numbers did increase and I definitely was pregnant!

We tried hard to have a VBAC after my awful induction/c-section with Laithan. After laboring for 22 hours and stalling, my sunny side up, 10 pounder was born via c-section. But Lachlan wasn't doing well, wasn't responding to the nurses and wasn't breathing. He was taken to another room and I never heard his first cries. Panicked, hubby and I just kept chanting, "Breathe! Breathe!"


Mommy got the first kiss (and a big whiff of that youth).

Jason heard him first, then I heard the nurses laugh. I knew he was okay. His blood sugar was low and when the nurses came to take Jason to see him he said, "No, we'll meet him together." After my experience with Laithan, this meant the world to me. Instead the nurse asked, "How much do you think he weighs?" We both guessed 8lbs. She laughed, "Ten pounds, four ounces." I almost fell off the operating table! Ten pounds!!

My huge newborn boy, 10lbs 4oz, the nurses all joked he was
stealing the bottles from the other babies in the nursery and
demanding a steak dinner.

He nursed like a champ. He had lots to say and he was happiest nestled up to his momma, not much has changed. He is still a bit sensitive and a bit moody. But, boy, when that kid smiles, it lights up the room.

Lachlan and his big brother are two peas in a pod. I couldn't have imagined a better pair of boys. Lachlan thinks his brother is just the funniest person on the planet and has thought so since he was just a couple of weeks old. No one can get a smile from Lachlan as quickly and as easily as Laithan can. Just yesterday they were in the backseat of the car, screaming and giggling loud belly laughs. There just is no sweeter sound.

Lachlan and his best friend and big brother.

 Happy birthday, Lachlan Preston. My chubby little Lock-a-Doodle-Do.